


Touched by Memory

by SifaShep



Series: The Quarian and the Infiltrator [5]
Category: Mass Effect
Genre: F/M, Implied Sexual Content, Implied Violence, Mind Control, Protheans - Freeform, but nothing graphic, commander remy shepard, the quarian and the infiltrator series
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-14
Updated: 2016-06-14
Packaged: 2018-07-15 02:57:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 13,733
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7203641
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SifaShep/pseuds/SifaShep
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mass Effect Big Bang 2016</p><p>Three years ago, Prothean technology changed Shepard's life forever. Now the same thing has happened again to Tali. This time, they have the last Prothean to help them unravel just what information she carries in her mind. If only Javik and the Normandy crew can do it before the effects become lethal (in more ways than one)...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> MASS EFFECT BIG BANG 2016
> 
> This happens during ME3, not long after Priority: Eden Prime. The N7: Fuel Depot mission is mentioned. Spoilers for Javik's history and background. The Prothean Enforcers are my creation, but based on a conversation Javik has with Shepard in his quarters.
> 
> Thanks to my artist, M, and to all my Mass Effect buddies: Continuousspectrum, vorchagirl, velynven, mssticha and so many more! You're an inspiration for me to keep writing and creating!

**Eden Prime**

"He isn't what you thought of him, is he, Liara?"

Liara T'Soni sighed and lowered her data pad. She gazed across the clearing at their new Prothean teammate. They stood only meters away from the fallen command bunker. Holographic flags marked the edges of the bunker, as near as Javik could remember it.

Javik, that was his name. A soldier, the last of a race that was now dead for 50,000 years. He was nothing like she expected. Her views on the Protheans and their culture had taken a drastic turn since they had woken him up.

She had been so naive in her assumptions about his people.

Javik bent over a stack of data discs, found among the Cerberus pile of artifacts. Cerberus hadn't the time to do a proper assessment of the site. Then again, preserving history had never been Cerberus's main goal.

"Liara, are you all right?"

She shook herself back to the present. Tali'Zorah vas Normandy placed a gentle hand upon her shoulder. The Quarian's expression was hard to read, but concern radiated from her glowing eyes. Tali had always been so reserved, at least until she and Shepard had gotten together.

_She's grown so much_ , Liara thought, _and she's even picked up some of his habits, like physically reassuring a team member. They're well matched to each other._

"I'm fine. It's just...no, Tali, he isn't what I first thought." Liara sighed again and brought her attention back to Javik. "How can I have been so wrong about his people?"

"You didn't know," Tali answered. She dropped her hand, then scanned another data shard with her omni-tool. "Javik's people didn't leave a lot behind. You had to work with what you knew at the time."

"But I'd thought his people sought knowledge of the universe, that they wanted to help the other races survive...and instead, they were imperialists who enslaved other cultures. They waged war on those who didn't agree with them." Liara shook her head. "I've had to revise my opinion of them in drastic ways."

"It's not easy when the reality doesn't match up to your expectations." Tali stated it as fact, without any judgment or rancor in her tone. "But there had to be a time, long ago, when the Protheans were the seekers of knowledge you expected, Liara. I mean before the Reapers came along."

Liara sighed again. "Yes, the Reapers. Imagine how the galaxy would be different if the Reapers hadn't existed."

Javik's gravelly tone echoed between them. "That is a pointless exercise, Asari. The fact remains that the Reapers do exist and that they are a threat to everyone. Imagining otherwise is a waste of time."

Tali made a scoffing noise as she rolled her eyes, a gesture she had picked up from both Shepard and Joker. "And as Joker would say, 'there's the down side'," she muttered.

Despite herself, Liara chuckled. "By the Goddess, Tali, you even _sounded_ like Joker for a brief moment."

Tali went on to the next shard, being careful not to touch it. Javik's warnings against physical contact with them had been quite clear. "Seriously, though, with the ruins of this bunker and what Javik and Shepard know about this last battle...our knowledge of the Protheans on Eden Prime has increased so much. I'd say that's a plus."

"You know just how to cheer me up, Tali. Did you pick that up from Shepard?"

She paused in the middle of her analysis, and looked up with a quizzical expression behind the mask. "He does have a way of doing that to the team, doesn't he?"

"He does. I'm glad you two got together, Tali. You deserve each other."

"I'm glad you approve. I mean, I was sure that you two would have--I didn't want to interfere with what you had."

"No." Liara turned her attention back to her pad, but her mind was elsewhere. "Two years had passed when we met each other again on Ilium. We've both changed, and then with the Shadow Broker...it never would have worked, Tali. We're too different now."

"No regrets, then?"

Liara stared at the information without actually seeing it. "No. I don't regret loving him, but he deserved better. Someone like you. You've loved him from the start, and I think he might have too. He just wasn't aware of it."

Tali's head shot up at that. "Really? You could have said something, you know."

She shook her head; Tali's words echoed Shepard's, not too long ago. _I was naive, but I had a vested interest in not bringing in competition._ The admission sounded selfish then, and Liara would certainly not tell Tali that now.

"And if I'd been wrong? The last thing I wanted to do was to hurt either one of you by giving you false hope. You both are very good friends to me."

Tali made a noncommittal noise, but let the subject drop. She gazed down at the assorted data shards. Their irregular edges glittered like molten metal and reflected the sunlight.

"Huh...Cerberus really didn't have time to go through these things, didn't they. Some of these look like they fit together like a puzzle. I wonder if they were originally part of a single beacon that was destroyed by the Reapers."

"Javik did say that there were old monuments with memory stones inlaid within them. The Protheans could touch them and experience what it was like, so long ago." Liara shook her head again. "I envy them."

"Being there at that point in time and experiencing what they did? I think that would be exciting."

"It would have been--"

Javik's voice came over her shoulder. Liara jumped, for she hadn't seen him approach. "The process goes both ways, Asari. You could experience a long-ago time, but your essence is forever changed. Your Commander Shepard, whomever he was destined to be, was altered when he touched the original beacon."

"I saw that when we woke you up. You read him while he saw your final moments on Eden Prime." Liara shivered at the thought. "You read his physiology, his language, and that's how you learned to communicate with us."

"But it isn't as easy--or any less traumatic--than it sounds," Tali commented.

"The Quarian is correct. There is always a price to pay when we use our ability." Javik gave Liara a droll expression. "It is not one that we can simply 'turn off' at will. It is as natural as breathing."

Liara bristled at the implication. "I didn't mean to imply that you used it indiscriminately--"

"Some of my people didn't hesitate to do it that way. Others used more caution. I tend to fall moderately between the two extremes." Javik glanced over Tali's shoulder. "If I may--?"

"Of course." Tali stepped aside as he brushed his fingertips against one of the shards. Both women fell silent as Javik silently interpreted the memories within.

"This appears to be a blueprint for one of the buildings here on Eden Prime," he said. "A storage facility at the southern end of the compound. Simple but elegant in design."

Liara nodded and recorded it on her pad. He went on to the next one, and the next, slowly describing what each data shard held. An agricultural plan, and how its designer went through the process of implementing it, the memories of seeing this plan come to fruition. A logistical list of supplies, a tally of available forces to combat the next Reaper attack. Sparse reports from other Prothean colonies.

Most of the data shards held no groundbreaking cultural discoveries, at least not singly. Together, they painted the growing desperation of Javik's people on Eden Prime as the Reapers grew closer and closer.

"Huh. Now _this_ I don't remember seeing."

Liara and Tali's heads came up at Javik's tone of surprise. "What is it?" Tali asked.

"This one was a cautionary note. I suppose the commander's people would call it an 'all points bulletin'." At Tali's nonplussed expression, Javik sighed and explained, "A warning to the general populace about a dangerous person."

"A lawbreaker?" Liara asked, her curiosity piqued. "A warning to other Protheans about one of your own people?"

"We were an amalgam of different races, Asari, all called 'Prothean'. Some needed more 'convincing' to join our empire," he reminded her in that droll tone. "My particular species is bred to serve loyally; others were not as dedicated."

Liara smirked; Javik sounded downright insulted at the implication that one of his people might not have been as fanatic about their 'cosmic imperative'. She was politic enough not to call him out on it.

"Again, no offense meant, Javik."

He harrumphed and took a closer look. "This would have stood out as unusual even in my time. It was a--"

Then a sharp blue flash jumped among the data shards and expanded outward. Liara had never seen anything quite like it before. She had no time to react before her nerves were set aflame. It lasted only a few seconds, but she heard a distinct voice.

_No, not you. I do not need you._

Then the blue faded and so did her consciousness.


	2. Chapter 2

Commander Remy Shepard hid the fear deep within as he entered Med Bay. Shepard's mouth twitched as he overheard the Prothean's disparaging words about 'unnecessary medical procedures'. Liara, too, was conscious. Her features still seemed rather pale, the normally bright blue eyes dimmed.

"Commander," Javik greeted, though not without some relief.

"What happened down there? I heard you three took quite a shock." Shepard frowned as he saw Tali was still unconscious. She didn't seem to be in any pain; her hands were serenely folded at her breast, her breathing slow and easy. Shepard reached over and took one of those hands in his.

Liara briefly explained what had happened at the Eden Prime dig site. Javik added his own commentary. Shepard's frown deepened as he pulled a chair next to Tali's bed.

 _I should have been there._ Shepard cut off that thought. His talent lay in command, not overseeing Prothean dig sites or analyzing their technology. Liara and Tali were the best experts in his crew, and if neither of them had seen it coming...hell, Javik had been there and it had caught him just as unaware.

Doctor Chakwas pulled up a set of brain scans. "Physically, Tali's fine. She's still unconscious, but her beta wave readings are extremely active. It reminds me of when you were struck by that Prothean beacon. Tali's current brain wave pattern is similar, but it isn't exactly the same, probably because she is Quarian."

"I hope that whatever information that cache zapped her with doesn't affect her as badly as it did to me."

Javik nodded as he looked at the scans. "The Quarian is experiencing some of the memory shard's information. Remarkable. I had never thought it was possible for a non-Prothean to do so. Only those with an extraordinarily strong will could withstand the complexity of one of our beacons."

"Shepard did," Liara said.

"Yes, I read it in the Commander's memories."

He winced. "It nearly killed me the first time, Javik."

Liara glanced sideways at him. "I went over the security footage of the incident, but I still don't understand it. Javik and I were standing next to her. Why was she affected and no one else?"

Shepard heard the distress in Liara's tone put a hand on her arm. "There wasn't anything you could have done, Liara. Even if you had force fields around the cache, it would have flared anyway."

"But we don't know what set it off--"

"We never knew what set off the original Prothean beacon, either," he reminded her. "Ashley may have gotten too close to it, like she said, but we never knew for sure."

She huffed out a frustrated breath and let her shoulders drop. "I know. It's just that...I'm sorry I didn't protect her, Shepard. I know she means so much to you."

He gave her arm a squeeze of reassurance. "I don't blame you, and I'm sure Tali wouldn't either."

Javik cleared his throat. "In any case, since you and the Quarian are...close, perhaps it is her connection to you that makes her able to access the data shard."

Liara opened her mouth to say something, but Javik continued, "I do not know why your Quarian was affected, and not you. I doubt it is meant as a personal insult. Such things are a matter of chance. It is also known among my people that our sensory talent was stronger with some than others. Most times, the extent wasn't known until an incident like this one."

She sighed, but she didn't seem mollified at Javik's 'reassurance'. "At least Tali has you to support her, Shepard. You went through a similar situation."

He frowned at her slight note of unease. Or was it jealousy? He and Liara had grown close during that first year, but now they were just friends. Was there more than met the eye?

"What _was_ in that particular data shard?" Shepard asked instead.

Javik's lips twisted in disgust. "It was what your people called an 'all points bulletin' for a dangerous criminal. A warning. I didn't have time to see the particulars, but it was just a small fraction of the entire shard, a kernel of information about the empire in general."

Shepard's own smile held little humor. "You mean it was a news update."

"As I said, there was much more information about other events at that point. It was before the Reapers attacked Eden Prime."

"A snapshot about a more peaceful time, you mean," Liara said.

"Yes...relatively speaking." He inclined his head. "If you wish to examine the shard itself, I would be glad to interpret its information."

Shepard chuckled at the intense curiosity on Liara's face. "Maybe once we ensure it won't go and zap another one of us?"

"I can ensure that as well, Commander, if you would permit me."

Chakwas stepped into the conversation. "That would be prudent, Commander Javik. Liara, I'd like you to get some rest before cataloguing your finds. You've been through a traumatic experience as well." She pointed at the back office with her chin. "You can stay there if you wish; I'll come wake you when it's time."

"Thank you, Doctor Chakwas." Liara stood up and nodded at Shepard. "I'll try to get some rest and check back later."

"Go on, Liara."

Javik inclined his head and left the room. After the office doors closed after Liara's departure, Chakwas sat in the chair that Liara had vacated. "She still cares about you, Shepard, even if her job as the Shadow Broker doesn't allow her to show it."

He sighed and shook his head. "I know. I'd hoped she would understand why it wouldn't have worked out between us--"

"She regrets it, but life changes people. We aren't the same as we were, three years ago." Chakwas chuckled softly and pulled out her omni-tool. "Saren, and the Collectors. Now the Reapers. And it all started with that Prothean beacon."

Shepard nodded. The Prothean soldier had been with them only for a few weeks, but Javik was already becoming a great asset to the team.

"He's a prickly one...but I understand where he's coming from." Chakwas frowned as one of the readings spiked on her tool. "Commander, I believe she's come out of the beta stage of sleep and into the alpha stage. I'll keep a close eye on her vitals, just in case."

"I'd like to sit with her, if that's okay."

"Of course, Commander, as long as she isn't disturbed. I'd like to keep monitoring her, but if she follows your pattern, she should be waking up in an hour or so. It will be good for her to see you."

He felt Tali's fingers curl around his hand; he squeezed them firmly. _C'mon, Tali. I'm here. I'll always be here. Just...wake up._

 

*****

  
Forty five minutes later, she began to stir restlessly. Shepard leaned forward even as Chakwas immediately set a full-body scan. A worried frown creased the doctor's forehead.

Shepard felt a slight jolt run through his linked hand with Tali. Faint images hovered just beyond his sight: a weapons schematic, a maze of circuits, spliced wires, re-programmed interfaces...

"Shepard?"

He blinked. The images shimmered and vanished. Tali murmured under her breath; he focused his attention on her. "Tali? It's Shepard. I'm right here. Tali, wake up. You're on board the Normandy. Doctor Chakwas and I are here."

"Shepard?" Her voice sounded slurred, even with her suit filters. Her eyes remained shut, although her head turned toward him. "Commander Shepard? Normandy?"

"That's right." He tried to sound reassuring, but her tone sounded...off. "Take it easy; you've been unconscious for a while."

"What...happened? I remember talking with the asari...with...Liara? Then there was this bright lightning and...oh, I think I fell...did I puncture my suit? My head hurts, and all my muscles are cramping and...ugh...I don't think I feel too good..."

He chuckled, despite himself. Now _that_ sounded more like the Tali he knew. "Stay still, Tali. The doctor's going to check you over."

"You did take a fall, but your suit's intact. You have a great deal of lactic acid in your system; that's why your muscles are seizing." Chakwas glanced at Shepard. "It's as if she swam across a river, climbed three mountains, then stayed awake for three days. She's exhausted. Her sleep was anything but restful."

"Sleep...sounds good." Tali closed her eyes again. "Rest. I've been...it _feels_ like I've been...in combat with a Prothean wearing steel-tipped gloves. I'm surprised my suit's still intact." Her grip tightened on Shepard's hand. "Please...will you stay with me? I don't want to be alone. I...don't want them to find me and hurt me."

He shared a concerned glance with Chakwas. "Of course, I'll stay with you, Tali. You're safe, no one will hurt you."

Tali breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank you." Then she fell back into sleep. Almost immediately, she gave a little gasp of dismay and her fingers tightened around Shepard's hand.

"It sounds like she actually experienced whatever memory was in that shard," Shepard remarked, "and it was traumatic."

"You didn't do that with the Prothean beacon." Chakwas brought up the incident on her pad. "You saw the warning, but you weren't immersed in it."

"The only time I was immersed in a memory is when I touched Javik after we woke him up. I saw the final moments of his people's fall, but I was still _me_." Shepard shook his head. His words sounded schizophrenic, but Chakwas nodded in understanding. "Something's not right here."

"Talk to Javik. He might have more insight over what they found at the dig site. I'll monitor Tali's condition and if anything changes, I'll alert you."

"Thanks, Doctor."

*****

Javik scowled as he listened to Shepard's description. He dipped his hands into the pool of water and began to methodically wash his hands.

"A Prothean with steel-tipped gloves? Our enforcers wore those. They were part of the soldiers, but they had a certain purpose." Javik sighed as he stared at the ripples.

"Law enforcement? Like Citadel Security?"

He shook his head and looked over at Shepard. "I told you about the indoctrinated, how they eventually betrayed us?"

"I remember. That's a reason why the Reapers defeated your people."

"The enforcers rooted out and eliminated the ones who were under the Reaper's influence." Javik shrugged. "They acted swiftly and without hesitation. Even the suspicion of being indoctrinated was evidence enough for one's demise. But there were too many indoctrinated, and not enough enforcers."

"Sounds like you could have been one of them, Javik."

Javik laughed without humor. "Perhaps I could have, but my talents were required elsewhere. If I had been an enforcer, I would never have been on Eden Prime, and you wouldn't have found my stasis pod."

"Good point." Shepard shivered. "Tali sounded terrified of them."

"They were terrifying, and for good reason. It makes sense, since an enforcer was sent to apprehend criminals, much like your Spectres or an Asari Justicar. A meeting with an enforcer is not easily forgotten."

"I bet it isn't."

Javik straightened and reached for a towel to dry his hands. "I should talk to your Quarian about what she saw. If an enforcer was involved, then it was a dire situation."

Shepard crossed his arms and leaned against the edge of the pool. "So even if someone _thought_ a fellow soldier was indoctrinated, the Enforcers came after them? That could sow chaos in the ranks. What if that soldier was really innocent?"

Javik scowled and shook his head. "We couldn't take that chance."

"You'd lose a lot of good people if the accusers were indoctrinated in the first place."

"The possibility existed, yes, which was why they investigated as much as they could. In the end, there was no time for such niceties. The Reapers' strategy was brilliant, and as I said before, we could not adapt until it was too late."

Shepard admitted that the strategy was brilliant. Divide and conquer, and that was what doomed the Prothean Empire. Fifty thousand years later, Humanity faced the same problem, with the likes of Cerberus.

"The Asari--Liara--she told me about the Cipher you received on Feros. It helped you interpret the information, but it certainly didn't grant you the ability to immerse yourself within it."

Shepard nodded. "When I saw you in the bunker...I was still an observer. My point-of-view didn't change. I wasn't seeing things through your eyes or anything like that."

"Only a Prothean with a strong sensory feel could do something like that, and that was rare. Quarians are not known for their extrasensory powers."

"Maybe her suit's link-ups are processing the information in a different way from yours or mine?"

"Perhaps. I would be gratified to see your doctor's scans."

The intercom crackled overhead. "Chakwas to Commander Shepard."

He glanced up at the ceiling. "Go ahead, Doctor."

"Commander, Tali's waking up. She's asking for you."

He traded a grim glance with Javik. "On our way, Doctor."


	3. Chapter 3

Tali tried to sit up in bed. "I feel _fine_ , Doctor."

"You were unconscious for seventeen hours, Tali. Take it easy. That Prothean data pulse was quite powerful."

"Where's Shepard? I thought he'd be here--"

The doors opened and he entered the room, followed closely by Javik. The sight of the Prothean sent a bolt of pure fear through her. She backed away as far as she could and turned her head away.

_Piercing eyes full of scorn, the rough gloves rasped against her bare arm, she shook her head and tried to pull away, the pressure of many minds against hers. **Let us in. Let us in.** The pain, oh, it felt like her temples were about to split apart and spill her soul for them to see..._

Chakwas frowned and put a hand on Tali's arm. "It's all right."

Tali shook her head and scrambled off the bed and backwards, until her back struck the hatch to the AI core. She called up Chittika, and positioned the drone between her and everyone else.

"Tali, it's all right!" Shepard called. He slowly approached her, his hands open to indicate he didn't have a weapon. "He's not going to hurt you!"

Javik frowned at her reaction. He kept a safe distance away, close to the main hatch. Then he raised his hands and showed them to her.

"I am not an enforcer," Javik said slowly, as if to a child. "That is not my purpose. I am here as a friend, not as an enemy."

"I don't care!" A jolt of energy passed between Javik and Shepard, and there was the smell of burning insulation. "Keep him away from me!"

Suddenly, EDI's voice echoed from the speakers. "Weapons discharge, Medbay. Security is on its way, Shepard."

He glanced upwards. "Advise them to keep their distance, EDI. We have a situation here."

"Acknowledged."

He glanced over his shoulder. "Javik, maybe you should step outside for a bit, at least until she calms down."

"I wholeheartedly agree. She thinks I am one of the enforcers. It is best if I withdraw. I will be ready in case you need support, Commander." With that, he stepped out of the medbay.

Shepard turned back to Tali. "He's gone, Tali. Call off the drone. No one's gonna harm you. I promise."

"He won't be back?"

"No--"

The door hissed open to admit James and Garrus. They both took one look at what was going on and positioned themselves on either side of Shepard. He nodded at them.

"She looks half-asleep," Garrus noticed in a low tone. "Waking nightmare?"

"Sounds like it. I'll explain later." Shepard inclined his head towards the Turian and addressed Tali again. "Garrus is here. You remember him, don't you? And James? We won't let anything bad happen to you."

Garrus nodded, concern on his features. Whatever was happening, it had upset Tali, and that was more than enough to worry him. "Shepard's right. We're figure out what's going on."

"We'll make sure you're okay, Sparks," James added. The burly Marine smiled at her. "The three of us'll keep you safe."

She blinked, blinked again, as if trying to grasp what was going on.With a shaky sigh of relief, she dissolved the drone with a wave of her arm, then she slumped against the hatch. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry--"

Shepard quickly crossed the room and drew her into an embrace. He rocked her in his arms as she sobbed apologies. "It's okay, Tali. You're here now, with me. It's okay. There's nothing to be sorry about. I'm here."

James knelt at her other side as Chakwas immediately brought out her omni-tool. "Jesus, Loco, she's a _mess_. What the hell happened?"

He told James and Garrus what he knew about the Prothean data shards and the accident on Eden Prime. Garrus shook his head. "Anyone else feeling a sense of deja vu about this?" he asked. "It's the first Prothean beacon all over again, Shepard."

"Yeah, but I didn't wake up and thought I was still dreaming." _Or tried to shock anyone with a defense drone_ , he silently added.

Tali gripped Shepard's forearm as if he was her only defense. Chakwas jerked her head back towards the bed and he carried her there. Tali sounded dazed, but her fear bled through her words.

"I saw them again, Shepard. The enforcers. One of them stood over my bed when I woke up. I panicked...then Chakwas came and it disappeared. I forgot for a few moments--"

"--and seeing Javik brought it all up again." Shepard cursed under his breath. "Damn, I'm sorry."

"Enforcers?" James asked, confusion on his broad features. "Who are they?"

"They were Protheans who rooted out indoctrinated agents. According to Javik, they were pretty ruthless in their jobs. Damned effective for a while, until they were outnumbered." Shepard glanced down at the shivering Quarian in his arms. "One of the shards was a warning about one of those agents. Now it sounds like more than just a warning,

"Someone's actual memory of one of 'em? They sound like mean _pendejos_."

Garrus's mandibles flared in a grim smile. "That would be a pretty effective deterrent to committing a crime. See firsthand what would happen to you if you were caught."

"Yeah." Shepard agreed. He took a deep breath. "Tell Javik and Liara to take a look at those data shards again. There has to be a reason why it's affecting Tali like this. We need to find a way to block those memories or do something to stop it."

James nodded. "On it, Shepard. Javik's probably wondering what the hell's going on anyway. If seeing him sends her into a tailspin, it might be a good idea to keep her out of his sight."

"Noted, Lieutenant."

Garrus looked down at Tali after James left the room. He said nothing for several moments, then, "As I recall, you weren't exactly sleeping well after you were hit with the Prothean beacon, either."

"The nightmares were pretty bad," he agreed, "but I didn't have a clear idea what I was seeing at the time. Tali's seemed pretty clear, which makes it worse."

Chakwas prepared a sedative and injected it into Tali. "This will make you sleep. A proper rest this time."

"I won't see them?" Tali whimpered. "They won't come again?"

"No dreams, Tali. They won't be there."

She looked up at Shepard. "Stay with me?"

He nodded. "Okay."

True to her word, Chakwas's injection put Tali to sleep quickly. Chakwas pulled the blanket securely around her shoulders, like a mother swaddling a small child. The tension left her body and she fell into a deep slumber.

Shepard shook his head. "I thought that maybe having something like Javik's talent would be a good thing. Now I'm starting to wonder if it's more of a curse. He said he's very careful of whomever he comes into contact with. If one of the Prothean data shards is able to do this to Tali--" Shepard broke off and glanced at Chakwas. "Is there anything else we can do for her?"

Chakwas sighed. "Short of erasing her memory? That's tricky in itself, Commander, and could easily go wrong in so many ways. But one thing's sure: she's calmer when you're here."

"I'll stay as long as I can, but I'm still the commander of this ship."

"I'm sure Tali would understand." Chakwas didn't hide the worry in her expression. "What bothers me is that she's reacting to a very _specific_ memory, and it's causing her severe trauma. You didn't do that, even before you received the Cipher on Feros."

Garrus frowned. "You mean it's like the same vid that keeps replaying itself in her mind? She's _stuck_ there?"

"Indeed. I don't know if it's specifically because of her Quarian physiology or something else is in play here. Whatever it is, Javik's our best chance at getting to the bottom of this. Tali will need our support."

His features softened at her words. "She'll get it."


	4. Chapter 4

Liara pored over the notes from the Eden Prime site. More artifacts lay deep within the colony's soil, but the Normandy couldn't stay here too long. The Reapers were still out there. The Shadow Broker understood the priority, but the archaeologist wished she had more time.

More time to study the Protheans. More time to help Tali.

She'd meant what she'd said before. She and the commander had changed too much in the years since his death and resurrection by Cerberus. Yes, she had given Shepard over to the Illusive Man. Shepard had forgiven her for that; Miranda Lawson and Project Lazarus had brought him back, against all odds, but there was no way Liara could expect him to return to her.

_You and Tali had gotten close during your fight with the Collectors...is there something still between us? I have to know, Shepard._ At least he'd been honest and let her down gently. She'd expected it, but it still hurt. That hurt faded with each passing day. Tali made him happy and that was all that mattered.

If she could find a shred of information to help Tali...

Supply lists, requests for help that never made it from the field. Fragments of letters, mission reports, disjointed orders. By this time, the Prothean Empire had been broken and the pieces isolated from one another. The Reapers' strategy had been brutally effective.

Again, Liara felt like a romantic fool for her previous ideas about the Protheans. How could she have been so blind?

_Too much knowledge can be a dangerous thing. Once the enemy can predict your movements, you are dead. It is an overwhelming tide. Either you swim with it, or you drown. Which would you prefer?_

She frowned and looked up from her data pad. Similar pads lay scattered on the bed around her. Glyph hovered at the nearest console, merrily sorting and indexing the flow of information.

"Shadow Broker, I believe I may have found something relevant to your requests."

"Let me see it, Glyph." Her screen changed to a simple personnel report. Three groups of scientists from Ilos, newly arrived to Eden Prime, bearing all kinds of new technology. Weapons, mostly, for there were dangerous rumors from the far corners of the empire.

Liara checked the data stamp. Twenty years before the attack on Javik's bunker. The Protheans were long-lived, like the asari. Twenty years meant very little to them, but that assumed they _survived_ that long with war raging around them.

A weapons designer, fleeing the enforcers. Liara ran her finger down the list of names. She had no idea of any of them were female. This was yet another detail to bring to Javik's attention.

"Glyph, flag the highlighted information. I need to talk to Javik about this."

"At once, Shadow Broker."

Liara went on, sifting through every scrap she found. Bits and pieces that painted a desperate picture as the Reapers came closer to Eden Prime. Other colonies went silent, supply lines ripped apart, orders relayed then countermanded. A slow, steady decline. Morale plummeted, but held together through sheer intimidation and will.

Betrayal from within. The accusations rare at first, then hey became a trickle, then a downpour. Protheans accused of betraying their fellow soldiers. Tactical information leaked to the enemy. Aides trusted for years suddenly stabbing their superiors in the back. Loyal subjects becoming agents for the Reapers.

By the time of the actual Reaper attack, Javik's unit had been one of the few who fought till the bitter end. He had described his group as the last vanguard. It was a grim picture.

Was this what awaited the Asari? The Turians? The Humans? What if their efforts were all for nothing?

Shepard's voice reminded her, "If we start thinking that way, we're already lost. I think of the ones I care for. It keeps me going."

Liara smiled, despite herself. He was a unique treasure. Tali was indeed a lucky woman.

Another report, this time of a skirmish between Prothean troops and indoctrinated agents. It was incomplete, but a whole regiment of soldiers burned when their own weapons exploded in their hands. _One hundred and seventy five soldiers, gone in an instant. Goddess. I hate war._

A weapons malfunction in the field, with enough casualties to attract the enforcers' attention.

Liara marked the report and added it to the growing pile. She didn't like what she was seeing, but it all added to a disturbing conclusion. There would have been an investigation, an inquiry, and ultimately, an arrest.

What if the memory shard was the last plea of an innocent person?

Liara had to find out more. If she could find any trace of that inquiry, any evidence, to prove either side, perhaps the memory would allow Tali to find peace.

She entered new search parameters and kept looking.

*****

Javik sat in meditation, but his thoughts were far from composed. He knew about the enforcers, of course, but he had never dealt with one. As he had told Shepard, his talents lay elsewhere. Yet he could have easily seen himself in such a position, had the universe been different.

The Humans had a strange sense of justice. _Innocent until proven guilty._ That only assumed one had the leisure to find that innocence. In his cycle, his people did not have the time to do that. They fought desperately against slim odds. They could not afford to show mercy to traitors.

"You'd lose a lot of good people if the accusers were indoctrinated in the first place," Shepard had pointed out. It was a valid point, but at the time, the threat was real. It needed to be dealt with quickly.

The hunter became the hunted. The memory of their defeat scalded Javik's throat like acid. No, he resolved not to make the same mistakes in this cycle. He would help the Commander destroy the Reapers. He was the avatar of vengeance.

But this problem with the Quarian distracted the Commander at a critical time. Javik normally scorned that kind of weakness, but his people were at fault, indirectly, for this. There had to be some way to eliminate this distraction. Shepard was too valuable a warrior to waste.

Of course, the most prudent way would be to execute the Quarian. It would only be merciful; the memory in her head would kill her anyway, and while Shepard would grieve, it would only steel his resolve against the Reapers.

Javik considered this solution, then discarded it. Yes, it solved their immediate problem, but Javik knew he would not survive _Shepard's_ vengeance. The Reapers feared Shepard for good reason. Javik wasn't about to test the man's patience or capacity for revenge.

Besides, it was difficult to avenge your people if _you_ were dead.

So, that particular solution was not feasible. What was the next best option?

Remove the memory, somehow. Find its source and destroy it. Erasing the original data shard itself would do nothing; the memory was already within the Quarian's head. Javik didn't know enough about Quarian neurobiology to pinpoint where to start; perhaps the Human doctor, Chakwas, could assist.

Javik frowned as he recalled another memory: Shepard's, this time, the Cipher on Feros, from another Asari. Could this same Asari help the Quarian, give her the ability to see like a Prothean? Saren had received this ability as well, and he had been a Turian. It stood to reason that a Quarian might gain this insight as well.

Yes. He must talk with Shepard again.

Javik opened his eyes and unfolded himself from his mediation posture.

*****

Shepard listened to Javik's idea, then glanced at Liara. "Can we contact Shiala on Feros?"

Liara slowly nodded. "We can try, but it'll take time for a message to get through. Zhu's Hope is fighting the Reapers, like everyone else. Taking the Normandy there would attract the Reapers like a magnet."

"In any case, your Quarian may not have that kind of time, Commander," Javik added. "The memory will kill her before you receive an answer."

"Damn. Is there anything we can do to help Tali hold out any longer?"

He glanced at Liara, who nodded encouragement. "There may be a way to access the troublesome memory and block it, but it requires your Quarian's cooperation, and we all saw what happened the last time she saw me."

Shepard's tone became wry. "Noted."

"Garrus told me that she was in a waking nightmare at the time," Liara said, "but if Tali was completely awake and cognizant, she may react to Javik differently."

"It wouldn't hurt to be cautious," Shepard agreed. "Let me alert Doctor Chakwas."

"Very well." Javik took a deep breath. He wasn't looking forward to this, but it had to be done, for all their sake.


	5. Chapter 5

Tali was indeed awake when they arrived in Medbay. Her eyes widened when she saw Javik, and the terrible fear pressed against her mind. It took all of her self-control not to lash out at the Prothean again.

_No, this is Javik. He is my friend. He will not hurt me._

Like before, Javik slowly lifted his arms to show his bare hands. No gloves, no gauntlets. The gesture seemed familiar to her, although she didn't know why. Nevertheless, the panic subsided and she let out a sigh of relief.

"Not one of them," he said shortly.

She tried to sound reassuring, but her tone trembled just the same. "It's all right. It's just--I'm sorry, Javik. Everything's a jumble right now."

"Understandable.There is no need for an apology. A natural reaction when confronted by danger to oneself."

"Tali? You okay?" Shepard asked. He took her hands within both of his. She smiled at the show of affection. His touch always calmed her, but warmth seemed doubled in intensity. She was grateful he couldn't see her face under the helmet.

A soft, poisonous voice echoed within her mind. _He is your mate. He cares for you. He is worried about you. Good._

_Leave him alone._ Tali frowned. _Keelah, who was that?_

She squeezed his hands and focused on the here and now. "I have a slight headache, but I'm fine, Shepard. I'm glad you're here."

Javik muttered something about 'hormonal primitives' under his breath. She couldn't help but smirk in response. Doctor Chakwas ran her omni-tool over her, then checked the readings. The door opened to admit Liara. When Liara saw Tali was awake, she gave Tali a smile of genuine relief.

_She acts like your friend, but she is secretly your enemy. She sides with the Prothean; she wishes to take your mate away from you._

Tali's features hardened in stony anger, then she caught herself. No, Liara had never been anything but kind. Liara was her friend, just like Javik.

_Leave me alone, you bosh'tet. I'm not listening to you._ That voice laughed and withdrew from her mind.

She must have been silent too long, for Shepard murmured again, "Tali, you there?"

"I'm here...just trying to gather my thoughts. I feel like I'm still half-asleep."

"I know how you feel. The beacon made me feel that way too."

Ckahwas made a noise of sympathy as she studied her omni-tool. "What's the last thing you remember, Tali?"

Tali frowned as she searched her memory. "I was with Javik and Liara, and we were standing over a Prothean data cache--" she glanced at Liara, who nodded her encouragement, "--then there was a bright flash, then...I think I was dreaming.

"You came to once before. You said something about 'a Prothean with steel-tipped gloves," Shepard said gently. "Do you remember that?"

The cold terror filled her mind and she clutched his hands tightly. " _Keelah_. Yes. I remember something...enforcers, I think?" She looked at Javik, but the Prothean's features didn't change. "I knew I needed to get away from them. I couldn't run, and I couldn't hide. I just wanted them to leave me alone! I didn't know why they were chasing me." Her breath caught in her throat...the panic threatened to overwhelm her again.

Shepard pulled her into an embrace. "That happened long ago, to someone else, Tali. They can't hurt you."

_**He** can_ , the unseen voice whispered again. Tali knew it meant _Javik_ , but she ignored it.

She took an unsteady breath and looked back at Javik. "There were so many pieces of information in that cache...why did I see the enforcers? Why _that_ one specifically?"

He shook his head. "I do not know. Most Protheans can interpret information stored in beacons and memory shards, but we cannot enter a memory and experience it through your eyes. With your permission, I would like to see what was transferred to your mind."

She stiffened at the words. "You'd touch me, and look into my mind--"

"I will respect your privacy and not intrude in any of your personal memories. If the information from the data cache is harmful to you, I may be able to block its effects."

"Can you just take it away? Erase it?"

"Sadly not. I do not know enough of your physiology to attempt such a thing. I may end up doing more harm." Javik sighed. "I do not make the offer lightly, Quarian. If I do this, I too, may be affected by what I see."

_Don't let him do that. He'll just hurt you._ The thought rose unbidden to the surface of her mind. Yes, she was terrified; who knew what Javik might do, unintentionally or not. Tali had seen Shepard's struggle after being marked with the first Prothean beacon. Did she want to go through the same thing?

Shepard squeezed her hands again. "I'll be here, Tali."

He was so brave; it was enough to make her feel ashamed of her fear. Of course, he'd be here for her. He loved her.

_He'll betray you. Just like everyone else. He does not look Prothean, but he sees through their eyes._ Tali shivered and blocked out the mocking voice. Now she was becoming paranoid about everything. This waking dream frightened her, but she could be brave. Like Shepard.

"Okay," she whispered. "Just do it quickly."

He stepped aside for Javik to take his place. Tali watched as he stood next to Doctor Chakwas, who had her omni-tool at the ready. Liara stood on Chakwas's far side at the medical computer.

"Are you ready?"

She took a deep breath and nodded. "I'm ready."

Tali felt Javik's hand on her arm, then all went dark.

*****

Running. Hiding. Avoiding the patrols. The searchlights. It was dark, cold and raining. The city lay far behind her and she was now in the wastelands. Shadows taunted her, the indoctrinated creatures that were shells of their former selves.

There was a gun in her hand. Those shadows growled and jumped at her. Her stomach twisted as she shot them.

_I am not indoctrinated. I am not like them! **I am me!** I am loyal to the empire! I am not a traitor!_

It didn't matter what she thought; the enforcers pronounced her as one of the Reapers' agents. They accused her of shipping faulty weapons to the Prothean soldiers. Those weapons ignited when fired and immolated the soldiers instead of the enemy. The enforcers had proof: the shipping records, the security footage. It was _her_ hands who altered the circuits. _Her_ signature that ensured the death of hundreds of loyal soldiers.

_I did not do that! I would never do that! I have no memory of doing such a thing!_

That was the problem...if she was indoctrinated, she wouldn't remember doing it. She was a loyal member of the empire. She would have rather died than submit to the Reapers. Her previous work didn't matter.Her stellar record didn't matter. The enforcers believed she worked for the enemy. Therefore, her life was forfeit.

_I won't let them take away what I have left. I have served them without hesitation. I have bled, I have cried, I have sacrificed! I refuse to submit to their lies!_

So now, she was a fugitive, and the enforcers were getting closer and closer.

She pulled out a memory shard and began to whisper softly to it. Her story, her version of events, imprinting images with every word, her will with every syllable....

The sounds of pursuit grew ever closer...

*****

Tali jerked backward so violently that she nearly fell out of the bed. Chakwas and Shepard caught her before she hit the floor. The images blazed across her mind, too bright, too sharp, and she shut her eyes tightly against them.

"Tali? Tali?" Shepard's voice. She clung to it, let it fill her and blunt the pain in her head. She couldn't stifle a whimper as she hid her face against his shoulder.

"Amazing," Liara whispered. "I've never seen anything like this...three distinct brainwave patterns, not all in sync, but intertwined--"

Chakwas sounded concerned. "Three?"

"This one is Javik's, and this one is Tali's, but if you look carefully, _here_ , there's a wave that isn't part of either one."

"Then whose is it?"

"I'm not sure, Doctor Chakwas. As I've said, this is nothing I've seen before."  
  
Then Javik's gravelly tones entered the conversation. "It is an imprint of the Prothean who stored the memory. All shards have it. There could be multiple imprints, if the shard is passed from person to person. That way, no one is completely forgotten."

Tali lifted her head from Shepard's shoulder. "But--?" she asked weakly.

"The imprint isn't usually this strong." He glanced over his shoulder at Tali. "I saw a woman...she was fleeing the enforcers--"

She nodded and straightened out of Shepard's embrace, though she still kept a hand on his arm. She was reluctant to let him go; it was almost as if she craved his touch as an anchor to reality.

"The woman thought she was innocent, that she was being falsely accused. She designed weapons, I think, and her designs malfunctioned on the field." Tali shivered. "I could hear her thoughts, Javik. She was desperate and running out of options."

Javik's frown was almost a glower. "You knew her _thoughts_? I only saw her actions, like an outside observer. Curious."

"She considered herself loyal to the empire, Javik, and thought she was being falsely accused, but the enforcers didn't care about that."

His frown darkened at her words. "They wouldn't. If there was proof, the verdict was death."

"I...know." She shivered. "I-I don't want to think about it anymore."

Javik nodded, but he seemed weary. "I put a memory block within your mind. As time goes on, it will blunt the impact, soften it, until it ceases to affect your waking life. We both need rest, you and I."

Chakwas stepped in with her medical authority. "Tali, I want to monitor you here. If there's any change, I want to make sure we can help you immediately. Javik, go get some rest. We may need your help later."

"Of course." The Prothean only nodded and staggered out of medbay. Liara glanced at Chakwas, who nodded.

"I'll analyze what we've found so far. If you'll excuse me?"

"Go ahead, Liara."

After Liara left for her her own office, Shepard helped Tali lie back down on the bed. She whispered, "Thank you, Shepard."

"You don't need to thank me. I'll always be here for you." He brushed his lips against hers, but her helmet blocked his touch. Tali felt a distinct thrill down her spine, and wished Chakwas wasn't in the room with them. Her reaction surprised her, but she figured it wasn't unusual after great stress.

"Traynor to Commander Shepard. Admiral Hackett on the QEC for you."

He sighed and raised a hand to her helmeted face. "Back to work. Rest, Tali. I'll see you later."

She smiled and whispered, "Okay."


	6. Chapter 6

"Shepard, we have reports of trouble at an N7 depot. Without fuel, we cannot operate in this theater--"

He sighed as he listened to Admiral Hackett. The war against the Reapers didn't stop because the Normandy crew had found the last Prothean. "We'll get it done, Admiral."

"See that you do, Commander. Hackett, out."

He tapped the comm to the CIC. "Joker, set a course to the depot. EDI, inform Garrus and Vega they'll be with me on this mission."

EDI's response was immediate. "Yes, Shepard."

Luckily, the mission was quite straightforward, though hardly easy. They managed to patch the fuel cells and restart the generator, while blasting husks and marauders in between. There was a moment of panic when Garrus didn't respond to calls when he joined Captain Riley's team. Yet they got the job done with minimal casualties. That was all that mattered.

So when the team returned to the Normandy, Doctor Chakwas gave the trio their post-mission check-ups. "You'll be happy to know that Tali's much improved. She'll still be off the duty roster for a few days, but she's resting in your cabin, Shepard."

Shepard ignored the knowing looks between James and Garrus. His relationship with Tali was pretty much an open secret, especially after the Quarians and the Geth peacefully settled on Rannoch.

"So Sparks is doing better?" James asked. "We were pretty worried about her."

"Yes, Javik's helping her deal with the memory. It's slow going, but we'll get there."

Garrus sighed in relief. "That's good to hear. Let us know if there's anything we can do, Shepard."

"Will do, Garrus."

True to Chakwas's words, Tali lay asleep in their bed. Her long dark hair framed her narrow features and high cheekbones. Shepard took a quick shower, then settled next to her. She murmured as she snuggled against his shoulder.

"G'night, Tali," he murmured as he kissed the top of her head. In moments, he was also asleep.

*****

_You are in danger. You must flee. They will come after you. You must get them before they get you._

A forest. Evading, hiding, splashing through water. Her pursuers were coming closer. Granted, she was a scientist, not a soldier, but she knew how to throw them off her trail. Yet no matter what she tried, they kept returning.

Conformity was their greatest asset and their greatest weakness. When they found something new, it took time before they adapted. Whoever hunted her was nothing of the sort. They saw through her smoke and mirrors. They nimbly avoided her traps.

They adapted.

These were no ordinary Protheans. Who were they?

She needed a safe haven, a warm place to hide for a while...

*****

Tali murmured in her sleep and instinctively moved closer to the warmth. His arm held her tightly to him, preventing any escape. She relaxed into his touch. She needed him. Yes, Quarian biology tended to be symbiotic in nature. Once a Quarian adapted to being with another person, there was no danger of fatal reaction to their presence.

Of course, that symbiosis also meant that she couldn't be parted from him for very long, either. Mated couples varied in that intensity. Her father, Rael'Zorah, never really recovered from the death of his wife, Tali's mother. Tali herself didn't want to think about a life without Shepard.

With the Reaper threat, she chose to treasure every stolen moment with him.

_He is one of them. You know that. He is friends with the Prothean. He released the Prothean from the long sleep. He doesn't know how dangerous the Prothean is. He may be already indoctrinated, for all you know._

She stirred restlessly at the words. _Leave me alone, you stupid bosh'tet. Let me sleep._

Tali opened her eyes to find him looking down at her. He ran a gentle hand down her bare back. "Hey, you okay?"

"Did I wake you? _Keelah_ , I'm sorry--"

"You've been a little restless, Tali. Still having bad dreams?"

"I'm not sure." She propped herself up on one arm. "I'm not remembering the images anymore, so Javik's mind block must be working, but I can't seem to get comfortable."

"Any way we can help with that?" Shepard asked with a twinkle in his eye.

She laughed softly, kissed him, then eased him onto his back.  
  
*****

Afterwards, she tried to sleep, but it was elusive. Tali enjoyed the heat of his body, his limbs entwined with hers. His enthusiasm matched hers, and he was quite...inventive. Human ingenuity, she liked to call it.

His breathing was now slow and easy, and his heartbeat sounded like music to her ear. She ran her fingers through his short red hair and down his temple, the side of his face, and on the short stubble on his jaw and chin. He shivered under the touch, but didn't wake.

She lightly caressed his neck, her fingers now brushing against the pulse point of his throat. A Human's larynx and spinal cord lay so close to the surface of the skin. All it would take was one twist of her hands; he would never know what happened. His last memory of her would be of earth-shattering pleasure, how he shuddered under her, the groan pulled from his chest as she..

_No._

She dropped her hand. Her eyelids drooped and she allowed herself to drift back towards slumber.

Then she found herself again in the middle of a nightmare:

_Run, run and don't look back!_

_No, don't, please, stay with me!_

The enforcers' particle rifles discharged as one. The bolts slammed into his body; it jerked like a marionette with its strings cut. There was no doubt he was dead before he hit the ground.

Denial rushed into her heart, but no one could survive a volley like that. Nevertheless, she screamed, **NO!**

The enforcers left him where he fell, limp and broken, plum-colored blood seeping into the earth. She had no choice; she ran into the forests, stumbled over craters and bodies. The Reaper ships hovered over the major cities; she fled in the opposite direction. Their piercing wails filled the air, like the call of the damned. Her head throbbed with the sound.

_I am not like you! I will never betray my people!_ The siren song pulled at her; she screamed and slapped her temples with her bare hands. She could resist the Reapers, she could!

Weapons fire peppered the earth around her. The enforcers closed the gap between them. She reached into her utility belt for her last sonic grenade. She pulled the pin and tossed the grenade over her shoulder. It detonated, the wave knocking her pursuers off their feet.

She spotted a low cave cut into the rocks. There...she could hide until the enforcers were gone, until the Reapers left this world. If anyone else tried to kill her, she would get them first.

Something dug into her side and she pulled it out of her pocket. A data shard. An idea came to her: even if the enforcers destroyed her physical body, or the Reapers overwhelmed her mind, there was a chance to tell her side of the story. To plead for her innocence. To show how the Protheans' own arrogance sealed their doom.

The species who came after them would learn of this and understand. The best revenge was to outlive your enemies. This data shard would be her salvation.

She entered the cave and followed it until she hit its back wall. Cold, dark and quiet. That was all she needed.

The recorder lay in the palm of her hand, waiting for her input. She took a deep breath and allowed the memories to flow. The story of her life, her work, her love and betrayal, and all the while, imbued it with her essence.

_Trust no one. Trust no Prothean. Trust no one who consorts with them. Destroy your enemy before they destroy you. Only then will you be safe. Do not let love or other emotion to sway your hand. A betrayer may wear a lover's face. Above all, the Reapers are the supreme evil._

_Heed my warning. Go and finish what the Protheans began. Eliminate them all._

*****

Tali slipped out of her side of the bed without waking Shepard. Quickly, she pulled on the parts of her enviro-suit, fastened the latches and straps and buckles. She secured her helmet over her head, then activated her omni-tool. The Normandy had many places to hide; not even Engineer Adams knew all of the places. She quickly located the Prothean's new quarters on the engineering deck, the port cargo bay.

She would never be safe until the Prothean was dead.


	7. Chapter 7

"Chief, I have a yellow light on section E-24."

Adams frowned as he saw the brief blip on the ship's internal sensors. It disappeared as quickly as it came, but he'd seen it. "Gabby, no one's doing maintenance on the vents right now."

"Kenneth was in there earlier, but he finished patching those leaks hours ago." Gabby Daniels tapped her console. "No one should be in there."

"That's weird." Adams switched frequencies. "EDI?"

"Someone has deactivated the security feeds in sections E-24 through 28. Specialist Traynor cannot seem to pinpoint the problem--"

Traynor's voice echoed in the background. "Wait, they're back up. Might be a sensor glitch. I'm running diagnostics right now."

"We caught a yellow on E-24, but no one should be down there. It might just be an unsecured hatch, but I'm gonna check it out, just in case," Adams said.

"Do you need a security detail with you, Chief?" Traynor asked.

"Shouldn't need one, but if you hear me yelling, EDI, don't hesitate to send in the cavalry."

"Very well, Lieutenant Adams."

He nodded at Gabby. "Hold down the fort here. I'll be right back."

Five minutes later, Adams arrived at the vent in question. He frowned as he tested the exit hatch. It was secured and locked tight. He opened it and a yellow light above the hatch went on.

"Chief?"

"Yeah, that was just me, making sure the alarm was working." He closed and locked the hatch again. "It might be just a glitch, Traynor. The hatch was shut tight like a bank vault."

"Acknowledged, Chief. Security cameras are clear on the crawlspaces in your area."

Adams sighed in relief. "I'm headed back to Engineering."

*****

Tali nodded to herself as she set the security cams on an automatic loop. No one, not even EDI, would detect her hacking programs. She heard Adams leave and head upstairs. The man was only doing his job; she couldn't fault him for that.

_Besides, you know who the real enemy is. Take care of him, then take care of those who side with him._ It hurt, knowing that Shepard had taken Javik's side. Of course, it would have been easier to kill Shepard back in his quarters, after exhausting him.

Her hands twitched on empty air. She could have. She should have. It would have taken care of the threat to her safety.

She couldn't bring herself to murder the man she loved. Some part of her, Tali, fought against the voice within her mind. It held her in its thrall, but she could never, ever do any harm to Shepard. Never.

_You won't have a choice._

*****

He woke up to find her gone. A quick glance at the clock confirmed it was still early morning. Normally, Tali would take the early engineering shift, relieving Lieutenant Adams, but Chakwas had placed her on medical leave.

Shepard tapped his comm. "Shepard to Engineering."

"Donnelly here, sir."

"Is Tali down there?"

The Scotsman sounded surprised at the question. "No, sir. Doctor Chakwas told us she was off the roster. I thought she was with you."

"She was, but she must have gotten up early."

"I haven't seen her, but if I do, I'll let you know."

"Thanks, Donnelly." Perhaps she'd gone down for breakfast or to Medbay. Either way, he knew he had to make sure she was all right. Crewman Hawthorne had relieved Chakwas in Medbay, but he also answered in the negative.

"No, sir, she hasn't come in this morning, and I don't believe she saw Doctor Chakwas before the shift change."

"Let me know if she comes into Medbay."

"Will do, sir. Hawthorne, out."

Shepard scrambled out of bed. He had to find her.

*****

"Shadow Broker, please wake. There is danger present. Shadow Broker--"

Liara sat up in bed. Long experience taught her not to ignore Glyph's warnings. "I'm up, Glyph--"

The sound of hissing gas erupted from the vents. Liara didn't hesitate; she bolted out of bed and ran for the exit hatch. It refused to budge. She staggered back with a cough, gathered up her strength and blasted the door. It flew outward, and cool oxygen poured in.

"Explosion, Deck Three, XO's office!" Shepard yelled. He picked himself up from the floor and ran to Liara's side. He must have already been awake and headed for Medbay or the CIC. Other crewman responded to the crisis, their reactions drilled into them.

Liara coughed, her lungs still burning from the near-miss. She sagged weakly against him, but managed to gasp, "Gas, Shepard, from the vents."

He immediately changed frequencies. "We have a gas leak, Deck Three. Evacuate the area. Donnelly, seal off vents one fifty through seventy five."

"Aye, Commander,already done and overhead fans are runnin'--" Another jolt through the decks knocked everyone to their knees. "Explosion, Deck Four, Port Cargo Bay. Hull is intact, no breach, but minor damage."

"Javik," Liara said hoarsely. She nodded at Crewman Hawthorne, who helped support her weight. "I'll be fine, Shepard. See if he's okay."

Shepard nodded and let her go. Liara closed her eyes and allowed Hawthorne to help her to Medbay. "Glyph, stay with the Commander. Keep me updated."

"Of course, Shadow Broker."

*****

Javik slowly opened his eyes. As usual, the sight of his own memory shard greeted him as it hovered over the table. It sang to him, called to him. The voices of the past. What harm was there to remember the past?

He deliberately unfolded himself out of his meditation posture. As he stood and stretched his limbs, he turned his back on the shard. _No, I will not. Not today. Not tomorrow. Perhaps later, when the Reapers are defeated._

A slight whisper in the air made him pause. What was that? A disturbance around him. His hunter's instincts took over, analyzed the information around him. Someone was coming, someone with deadly intent.

Someone on board this ship wanted to kill him.

He should warn the Commander, but there was no time. If he hesitated, even for a second...his biotic power tingled in his fingertips, blue wisps coiling and uncoiling around his fingers.

_Where are you? Show yourself, coward._

His body reacted before his mind caught up. The pool of water exploded outward and liquid drenched him. His foot slipped, but he turned his fall into a roll. Mist rose up around him--water vapor--in a white shroud.

Clever, to hide their movements. The assassin was good, but he was better. Javik heard the crackle of energy as it popped and snapped. Water conducted electricity, and it took only one short blast to electrocute him if he stayed where he was. He had to get out of here.

A hazy ball of energy drifted closer and closer. A drone. The Quarian's drone. So she was nearby, possibly in one of the crawlspaces above. Surely she was intelligent enough not to be too close, or risk electrocuting herself as well.

Shepard had chosen a wily woman for his mate. Javik was almost impressed.

Almost.

He managed to get to the hatch, but it glowed red. He was locked inside the room. The drone shrieked as it finally locked on to his position.

No matter.

_Apologies, Commander. It is easier to ask forgiveness than permission._

He gathered his biotic powers and blasted the door. It crumbled and broke apart under his onslaught. He leaped onto the dry deck just as a deadly bolt sizzled the room behind him.

He found an access hatch on the other side of the engineering deck. If the Quarian was roaming in the vents, then she could be hiding anywhere.

Javik closed his eyes and focused on her presence. He only found chaos as the Normandy crew reacted to the attack. Then he heard Shepard's voice on the comm; an explosion in the Asari's quarters on Deck Three. So not just him, but Liara as well. Perhaps the Quarian took this opportunity to eliminate the Shadow Broker, or even considered her a rival for Shepard's attentions. 

Javik shook his head. _Hormonal primitives. I will never understand them._

He found himself crawling towards the room under the engineering deck. Impressions assaulted him: a powerful biotic like himself, a rebel and a criminal, isolated in the dark by choice. Torture, experiments, the agony of other children like herself. He clenched his hands into fists and pounded on the steel deck, much as she did on the two-way mirrored window. Her screams of anger were ignored by the universe, but it only fueled her rage.

That rage directed first at Cerberus, then Shepard, then the Collectors.

Jack. Jacqueline Nought. Jennifer. Subject Zero. Javik had never met the so-called 'Psychotic Biotic', but he'd heard the stories and the rumors. Now _that_ was someone who knew the true meaning of battle fury.

He came upon a hatch, but a mere sheet of metal couldn't block him for long. Seconds later, he emerged into the room, just as he spotted the glint of light from the access ladder.

It was Shepard, but he was unaware of the shadow just behind him.

That shadow grabbed him by the shoulders. Javik didn't hesitate; the Prothean launched himself and managed to touch the Quarian's arm.

He found himself pulled into a dream...


	8. Chapter 8

Glyph's voice echoed from overhead. "Commander, Engineer Donnelly reports minor damage to ship's systems. Lieutenant Cortez confirms Armory and Shuttle Bay are secured. No life signs from Port Cargo Bay."

Shepard nodded as he climbed the ladders down one deck. The elevator wasn't working and he needed to get down below. "Glyph, any sign of Javik or Tali?"

"Unknown, Commander. I am not reading either transponder signal on the Normandy."

"Damn!" First Tali, then Liara, now Javik. He had a bad feeling about what was going on. The attacks on Liara and Javik were too specific, confined to their sleeping areas. Someone was trying to kill them. Shepard understood the reason for Javik, but why Liara?

He slid down the final ladder and ended up in the crawlspace under Engineering, Jack's old haunt. A pair of hands seized him by the shoulders and spun him around...

*****

...he found himself in the middle of a ruined forest, under a crimson sky. The blaring alarms of Reapers thundered overhead, and fire raged in the distance. The bunker to the north burned and threw smoke into the air. He blinked tears from his eyes and stared down at the woman who gripped is shoulders.

The top of her head barely reached his collarbone. Black hair, green skin, four eyes. This wasn't any Prothean...but those luminous eyes reflected a certain Quarian. She raised a trembling hand and pointed at Javik who stood only meters away. They both winced at the hate in her voice that was so unlike Tali.

"Get him away from me! Don't let him touch me! Please!" She spun around and launched a drone at Javik. He used his biotics and it violently shattered. An overload pulse narrowly missed his head and struck a dead tree behind him.

"Tali!" Shepard called out. He reached for his pistol, only to remember it wasn't there. "Stop! It's _me_ , it's Shepard!"

"That is not your Quarian," Javik said flatly. "Do not be deceived. Step back; this is between me and her."

"Javik-" Shepard warned in a low tone.

Javik ignored him. "Who are you? What is your name?"

"Adalethie." She straightened like a soldier at attention, but kept her hand clenched, ready to lash out again at the slightest hint of danger to herself.

"Adalethie is not a Prothean name." Javik inclined his head in thought, then understanding came over his features. "You are...Dinsannon, then? One of the lesser races?"

She made a scoffing noise. "I was born Dinsannon, yes, but I am not _'lesser'_ , Prothean!"

"The Dinsannon were scientists, not soldiers," Javik said, "and they lacked our sensory ability. How did you manage to use a data shard?"

She smirked and said mockingly, "You Protheans believe you are the only ones with the talent. It is amazing what you can duplicate when you are desperate enough, with enough implants."

"Why do you do this? Those who pursue you are long dead!"

"I served the Empire loyally. Who designed the particle rifle you use, Prothean? Who made sure it didn't blow up in your face when you struck down your enemies? Who risked her life to ensure that whole companies, whole regiments of soldiers used equipment that was not faulty?"

Shepard nodded in understanding. "You're the weapons designer."

"My whole life was in the arts of weaponry and deadly technology. I reveled in it." She brought up another drone, but this time she kept it tethered close. "A shipment of weapons, improperly stored, and given to one of the regiments on Eden Prime. The firing mechanisms shorted when they were used. One hundred and seventy five infantry, wiped out in seconds! Who was blamed for that? Me! I had nothing to do with it, but they went after me anyway!"

Javik bristled at the spite in her tone. "The enforcers would not have pursued you without cause. If you were as loyal as you claim, they would never have come after you. We did not have the numbers against the Reapers to destroy our own!"

She shook her head like a mother who was amazed at her child's innocence. Her voice fell to a sob, a broken note that was crushing to hear. "I fled, and that made me a criminal. My mate stayed behind to buy me time...they killed him when all he wanted to do was to protect me! He was unarmed, and they _gunned him down_!"

Her eyes sought Shepard's as if begging for his understanding. "Please...you would give your life to protect those you love! It is in your nature, your very being!"

Javik was unaffected by her attempt at sympathy. "They would have had proof--"

"Lies! All lies! You kill without mercy, then you justify it by saying it was the enemy! Why don't you look to your own people, Prothean?"

He ignored the taunt, even if it had been justified. "You were one of the indoctrinated, you helped the Reapers defeat us! It is thanks to ones like you that our empire fell!"

"It is thanks to your arrogance and inability to adapt that the empire fell!"

A loud blast tore through the sky. Shepard staggered as it shook the dead trees around them. Reaper ships loomed just to the north, where Javik's bunker had been. Shepard counted four, five, six...no, nine Reapers. Ten...twelve...

Another pulse lanced through his head. Adalethie screamed and clawed at her ears. He barely heard her cry over the Reapers' call.

"I survived long enough to imprint myself, and I will survive long enough to finish my revenge!"

"You are just a memory," Javik shouted, "and memories fade outside of the shards. You cannot stay within the Quarian for very long. Her brain cannot retain the information, for she is not Prothean."

"You'll kill her," Shepard added.

Adalethie turned towards him, her eyes searching his. Then she brought a gloved hand to his face and traced his cheekbone with her fingertips. He tried to pull away, but the gaze paralyzed him.

She murmured, "The images are incomplete, hazy...but you have been touched by the likes of our technology. How is that possible....ah, somehow you have the knowledge to see like we do. A mere Human. How interesting."

"Commander," Javik warned. "Step away from her."

Somehow, he managed to step back. She snarled and tried to clamp her fingers onto his face. He grabbed her wrist before she touched him again. Shepard's face was like stone, and even Javik shivered at the ice in his voice.

"I'm only telling you once, Adalethie. Let Tali go. Your time is past."

Her wide smirk became sinister. "You love her, Human. You are...intimate with her. I see her memories. She enjoys what you do to her...she believes 'it's all worth it'."

The private joke sounded like an insult. Shepard's grip tightened. "Let. Her. Go."

"You can't kill her. You won't allow it. Interesting." Her tone fell into a soft purr. "Very interesting. _I_ am here, within her mind. If you murder me here, you kill her, and even if you manage to accomplish it, you will never forgive yourself. You could not stand to hear her voice among the other dead ones who torture you. The warrior against the Reapers has one weakness. **His heart**."

He gritted his teeth, even as the truth hit home. "It makes me different from you. She gives me strength against the Reapers."

"She makes you a liability, and we know what happens to those who become liabilities, yes?" She pressed forward, fingers bearing down on him. "If you were Prothean, they would murder you too, for having a heart."

"Let her go."

"There is another way, Commander Shepard. Allow me to leave her and go to you. She cannot hold me without dying, but _you_ can. You can save her life. You are practically Prothean yourself. Your life for hers. Isn't that a small price to pay for her survival?"

He hesitated for a split second. He felt pain as it slowly wrapped itself around the nerves of his arm. It reached towards his mind, thin tentacles of fire rising up his spine.

Their surroundings began to fade, shimmer out of focus. Adalethie couldn't maintain the effort of holding all of them captive and attacking Shepard at the same time. Javik peppered the ground around them with biotic strikes, which broke Adalethie's concentration.

Shepard seized the opportunity. He wrenched her around and pinned her arm to her back. Adalethie screamed with Tali's voice.

"Commander! I cannot do anything while you are in my line of fire!"

"You kill me, you kill her. It is as simple as that." She glanced over her shoulder at him. His heart skipped a beat as her control faltered for a moment. In that moment, he saw her, Tali, her mouth forming the words:

_Remy. Do what you must. I love you._

"Keelah se'lai, Tali," he whispered. "Forgive me."

He shoved her bodily towards Javik, who unleashed a volley of biotic power. It struck her in the chest, spun her around, and she crumpled to the scorched earth. The shockwave knocked Shepard off his own feet, and he landed hard on his back.

Far above, he saw the shadow of a Reaper among the trees. It bore down on him, but he couldn't move a muscle. The piercing wail split the air and deafened him.

The only woman he'd ever loved lay dead on Eden Prime's soil. He no longer cared what happened to him. The great Commander Shepard had killed Tali'Zorah; never mind that it had been Javik who struck the final blow...

Rough hands forced him up to his feet, but he still couldn't move. Then they were stumbling into some sort of cave carved out of the hillside. Stone and dirt rained on them-- _neutron bombardment_ , Shepard remembered--and he closed his eyes.

Then all was silent and dark.

*****

"Commander! Commander Shepard!"

His eyes snapped open and he jerked upright. Garrus and James kept him from crashing onto the floor. Awareness instantly came back to him. Wires hooked to his head and chest, an IV port in his left hand...

Medbay. He was in medbay.

"Calm down, Shepard! You're okay, you're safe!" Garrus told him.

"Javik? Tali?" He swallowed hard. "Are they--?"

"Javik's still dreaming," said Doctor Chakwas. "He'll be awake in another fifteen minutes or so."

"Tali...Javik shot her and I let him." He sagged back in James's grip. "Oh God, I let her die."

Chakwas shook her head and put her hands on her shoulders. "Listen to me. Yes, she coded, briefly, but we were able to bring her back. Technically, she _did_ die, but she's alive _now_."

"She's--"

James moved slightly to his left so Shepard could see Tali, still unconscious, but her vitals echoed strong on the medical monitors. He took a deep shuddering breath. She was alive.

Liara sat at one of the monitors. "Shepard...that third brainwave reading? It showed up again when we hooked you to the EEG machines. It tried to overwhelm yours, then it stopped. It actually vanished, faded away. That was when Tali flatlined, probably from the shock, but we saved her, Shepard. Whatever tried to harm her is _gone_. Permanently."

"Scared the crap out of us, Commander," James confirmed, "but she's okay."

He closed his eyes and finally relaxed. "Thank you for saving her."

"You need rest, Shepard. Everything's gonna be fine." Garrus helped ease him back to the bed. "We can sort through everything later. Right now, sleep."

He did.


	9. Epilogue

"I still remember it. Everything." Tali tapped the side of her head with a grimace. "The thing is, it's not clear, the edges are not so sharp. It's like seeing it all through a cloudy window, fuzzy, as if it all happened to someone else."

Javik nodded. "The memory block has softened it, made it blunt. You will remember it, but like an observer, much like the Commander did with the Prothean beacon. It will no longer threaten your life."

Shepard sat at Tali's bedside, his hand within hers. "Adalethie is gone?"

"Yes, my mind is clear. Whatever you and Javik did...she won't come back. Doctor Chakwas says I should be in the engine room in a day or two."

He chuckled and said, "Can't keep you out of there for long, can I?"

No one could see her smirk, but they all felt it. "I can be convinced."

Javik's reaction was predictable: he snorted in disgust and shook his head. "Then if I am no longer required here, I will return to my quarters and meditate. I...need the quiet."

"Go ahead, Javik," Shepard said. "I'll make sure no one will disturb you."

"That will be appreciated, Commander." The Prothean bowed his head at Shepard, then Tali, before finally departing through the Med Bay Doors.

Tali watched him go. "So...the damage to his and Liara's quarters--"

"--were minor. Chief Adams and his people were pretty quick about it. Having the extra material on board helped, and Javik was able to have some say on what else he needed in his room. I wouldn't worry about it, Tali."

She sighed in relief and lay back among the pillows. "I still feel pretty bad about causing so much trouble."

"It wasn't your fault. I still feel bad about shooting you." He squeezed her hands. "I honestly thought I killed you. I...well, I'm glad Chakwas and the others brought you back." He didn't voice the horror he had felt, the utter despair at his loss. If he gave it words, he was afraid it would be for real.

Tali nodded; she understood his fear without needing him to say it.

He squeezed her hands. "No more touching Prothean data shards?"

"No, Liara made sure to warn any science teams working with Prothean artifacts or tech, just in case. Javik reassured them that what happened to me was rare...but you never know." She chuckled and brought his hand to her cheek. "I have a better understanding of what you went through. And know that I am here for you, always."

Shepard smiled, the first genuine smile in days. "It goes both ways, Tali. Count on it."


End file.
